Wednesday, September 22

Player's Creed

So there I was, in my room, playing Assassin's Creed II. I'm about to assassinate some fool for purposes of vengeance, when I have to pause and leave my room for a moment. However, my ever-faithful golden doodle, Walnut, who had been resting on my bed, follows me out of my room and magically catches his hindquarters on the door, shutting it behind him."Wally," I say in dismay. He's a silly dog as it is without his clumsy mishaps. But oh no! What's this? I try to open the door, but it is stuck. You see, several tall paintings which have been forever lodged behind my door had toppled over amongst the clangor, wedging the door from the inside.

Ha! There was but one solution to this little puzzle: my second-floor window overlooking my roof. A parkourist, is what I needed to become. An enthusiast of the sport, I anticipated scaling my house wall. This was my chance to truly become Ezio or Altair and live the fantasy of roof-hopping, minus the murder.

Hm. At my porch-awning, the lowest point of my roof, the beams were pretty slick. I arranged a chair, an improvised boost. Nope. I could see over the roof, but not quite climb without slipping. I replaced the chair in a more advantageous position. No go. I tried a windowsill: too low. This game was proving too difficult for my abilities. So I did the next best thing, grabbed a ladder like a reasoning human being and used an intuitive step approach. Victory.

Heh. Well, I guess I can't quite do in real life that which a game allows. But that's part of what makes games so exhilarating, experiences possible with only a controller and a screen. On the plus side, using my insane ladder skills allowed me to get back to the parkour I could actually accomplish. For now.

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