Wednesday, July 11

Baldness Out of Hand

Whats with the baldness in video games these days? Its ridiculous. Bald generic looking male characters star in 100% of psychic action video games (most recently in Sucker Punch's inFamous). Its a Fact. Lets take a tour through the male baldness epidemic hitting video game characters everywhere.

Baldur from Too Human
Your Too Human because your Too Bald.

Shepard from Mass Effect
Well Shepard actual has a little hair. So we'll let him go easy.

Sam Fisher and Friends from Splinter Cell: Double Agent
Alright everyone. Well, welcome to the third annual balding vigilante committee.

John Vattic from Second Sight
Lock and load! This new hair folicle treatment system will rejuvante your head in no time flat. psychic powers required

Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy by Midway
Anything you have to say to my head, you have to say to me.

Dude from Crysis
We can display vegetation like no other, but not human hair.

Agent 42 from Hitman
My name's Agent 42 and I've had hair loss issues since birth.

Lynch from Kane and Lynch
Noone honors the horse-shoe.

James from Manhunt
What did you say about my head?

Yes, even Niko will be bald before long.

Some Guy from Doom 3
Hey buddy! I'm down here!

The Agent from Crackdown
I didn't know my baldness could be so...powerful.

Also, $20 says Master Chief is bald too.

What gives? Nariko and The Witcher have plenty of hair.
Two whole cell processors are completely devoted to running Heavenly Sword's femme fatale.

For the record, I have nothing against baldness. But I do think its sad that so many developers are just letting their characters go hair free.

All non-labeled screenshots from The Gamer's Gallery.

1 comment:

  1. I'll take your $20 for master chief.

    Hair does get in the way of combat ops. It strikes me as more authentic. Could you imagine Sam Fisher with a mohawk? How about a mullet? Oooh, Agent 42 with a beehive...